Close-up of a person's face with their eyes closed.

Close-up of white orchid flowers with soft lighting.

Sunset over the ocean with sunlight reflecting on the water

Welcome to my blog, heart & liver.

Growing up, all the Chinese aunties and uncles at Church called me 心肝 (xin gan).

Little did I know, my alias had a larger significance than just its naming role.

心 (xin) means heart. 肝 (gan) means liver. Together, the phrase describes someone as precious as the heart and liver,

as vital as the organs giving life’s supply, as critical as the house of nutrients fulfilling life’s deficiencies and failures.

This name, given at birth from my mom in her 40s, is more valuable in the fact that I never believed it.

heart & liver is a blog for those with broken hearts, parts of ourselves holding onto waste and toxicity, and viscera that have forgotten their vitality in this world.

As I unravel mental musings, describe God’s impact as the Potter and us as the Clay, and digress into lively films, I hope to remind all of us that we are the heart and liver that keep life alive.

Musings

A collection of epiphanies, thought experiments, (still) think pieces, and other mental gymnastics. This category explores the complicated intersections and misunderstandings between eating disorders and faith, femininity and identity, anxiety and OCD.

Mise En Seen

A personal reverie on cinema. I explore the motifs, cinematography, and aesthetic choices that give stories their life. Through the lens of mise-en-scène, I trace what shapes a film’s mood and meaning.

Young Adult Life

“But now, O LORD,
You are our Father;
We are the clay, and You our potter;
And all we are the work of Your hand.”
- Isaiah 64:8
A space to explore how we can surrender, grow, and learn through the hands that formed us.

The image features the word 'musings' written in purple cursive on a white background.

A person with dark hair lying face down on a bed with white sheets, turned away from the camera.

Close-up of a person's torso and arms wrapped with thin wires or strings.

Text saying 'mise en scene' in black cursive font

A romantic couple seen through a restaurant window, engaging in conversation.

A woman in a red dress standing inside a cafe or restaurant, with three seated men nearby, two of whom are smoking.

Two people embracing, one with eyes closed, in front of red text and blurred background.

Soft-focus image of three white butterflies flying against a blurred green background with a quote that reads, 'I live my life expecting. Expecting what, I'm not always sure.'

Uncertainty lives in the hope and dread. It is an inherent quality that things change every day; even when consistency exists, certainty is never guaranteed. For the same reason, I still go back to those damn strawberries, I try to taste a sweet future, mitigating that unsettling discomfort in the uncertainty.